My friend and I were just talking the other day about how everything feels “weird” at first, until you get used to it. If you decide to be brave and try it anyway and give yourself a little time to get used to it then one day you realize, “holy crap, this looks good!” “What was I thinking before?” This is my exact journey with visors (and hats in general – and many other things really, but we’ll just focus on visors for today as I don’t want this post to be miles long).
My backgroundis in psychology – the human thought process is just fascinating to me – and when I learned about in-groups and out-groups in my intro to sociology class it explained SO much! WE feel safer when we feel we are part of a group and an aspect of this phenomenon is mocking or shunning those you consider to be outside of your group. We put others down for what we deem to be silly or unnecessary (i.e. a hat without a top? what a “mom”) because it helps us feel more firmly part of our group. But that approach only takes you so far. I’ve found that if one wants to fully enjoy life then we’re required to try things outside of our comfort zone. Otherwise life can get pretty stale and boring.
The funny thing is, once we do some of those things that used to feel odd or just wrong, they become a part of our joy. We often only see the value of things once we try it out for ourselves. I used to see visors on women and think, “she’s given up” or something to that effect. Then I tried one and realized I could keep my hair up and still have some shade and that was that. I am now a visor girl. The benefits appeared to me only once I gave it a whirl. So I guess that’s my deep thought for today – reserving judgement until we’ve really given something a chance is the wisest choice IMO. Who knows what we might be missing out on otherwise? I am most certainly glad I tried visors, it makes me wonder what other gems I might be missing out on.
Speaking of gems, I also want to point out how AMAZING this dress is (currently over $100 off and all sizes in stock, the black version is less than $60)! I could not stop wearing it when it arrived. Seriously, I think I wore it four days in a row – that’s totally ok when different people see you each time, right? Lol. I’ve always worn my comfy clothes more than anything else in my closet, but in these (COVID-19) times this is even more true. I just do not want to bother with anything that is constricting or that does not feel good on my body. I’ve been all about zipper-free midi dresses lately because I want to know it’ll fit no matter what I ate the night before and because sometimes I bend over. Shocker, right? But even with my trusty bloomers I feel indecent sometimes. This dress has a really nice weight, feels great on, and it’s an attention getter! I got three compliments in one hour when I wore it shopping. Not that compliments are why I dress the way I do, but they’re a bonus. 😉
I was (semi) joking with a friend recently about how’s this dress reminds me of the sail Ariel uses as a makeshift dress in The Little Mermaid. Remember that part, when she washes up onshore after being turned human? For some reason I get that vibe strongly with this dress, which is a pro in my book! I can hear Scuttle saying “you look great, you look sensational!” every time I wear it.
While this dress is almost always shown online fully buttoned up on top, I like it a little more when left a bit open. But it does look really cute both ways I think. I did not size down in this one FYI. Usually FP dresses run pretty big, but a large fit me perfectly.
On a different, but similarly nostalgic note, I just finished re-watching the entire series of Sex and the City. I have the collection on DVD. I got a major craving for it one day so I had to locate my old DVD player and DVD’s within the garage, which gave me my first taste of how old and outdated it now is. I love it because it’s great fashion inspo, but I wanted to share some insights I’ve had about it lately, after rewatching it as a 37 year old. It’s crazy to think I first watched it in 1998, as a 16 year old!
I know that many, many women watched and loved SATC back in the day, just like me, but has it held up? Do I see it the same way my 16 year old self did? The answer to that is a big yes and no. The fashion has certainly held up; Patricia Field has my deepest respect and admiration. The way she crafted Carrie’s signature look (I will probably always think of Carrie when I choose to let my bra show in an outfit), let it evolve as the character did, and gave her some signature flourishes from season to season (remember the Carrie necklace, big flowers, tutus, and huge butterflies that kept popping up?) was brilliant. And the friendships between the women is still as appealing as ever. Even though I now see it’s pretty unrealistic to have four friends who spend all their time together and are actually quite codependent.
But there were also aspects that really shocked me all these years later. For example, Carrie is quite self-involved and the whole gang is pretty intolerant. Non-hetero people were mocked pretty mercilessly, even though both Carrie and Charlotte had gay besties. Even Samantha mocked trans women at one point and in the earlier seasons Carrie would just light up a cigarette wherever she wanted. I guess I missed all that the first few times around? But that’s perspective for you, it can really change how you see everything. I can’t help but wonder (haha I had to do it!) – what will seem strange about this time, 20 years from now?
What kinds of things do you see differently now, with the benefit of hindsight and after some years of growth?
XO, Kate
Photo credit: Leo Amar